Just perusing my old website ( http://tomquayle.iomonline.co.im ) and I came across this little beauty:

I'll archive the Mr T versus things at some point as well.

Hello everyone! It seems to be something of a recurring theme that I apologise on this website for not updating often enough, so today I'm going to buck the trend, and not apologise whatsoever for my disgraceful lack of effort. Instead, I laugh at you!

I've just got back from the long-in-the-planning joint birthday of Al, Brendan and Ray in Sheffield, and I must say, it was effing brilliant.. Everyone turned up (just about, Vinny and Amy had an unfortunate incident involving being on the wrong train and ending up in Leeds, which is rather a way from their intended destination... they did eventually make it!) and as far as I can tell everyone had a great time, and an almighty hangover to boot... here's how it all 'went down'... sorry...

Claire's Photos are now up! Click here for visuals!

The kind Mr Safe had agreed to drive to Sheffield, thus saving lots of train based aggravation, so he picked up myself, Claire and Martyn at breakneck speed before heading down to the boat for 6am approximately. Cue the usual boarding shenanigans, where no matter what time you turn up, and what queue you're in, you go on last... grrrr... not to worry, as it was the SuperDuperSeacat, and we got to Liverpool in record time, in fact I think we arrived for about 9.15am, which is pretty darn good considering... We then zoomed down the motorway, and through some gorgeous snow-capped peak district scenery to arrive in Sheffield for about 12.30ish, and at the boys' flat for about 1. The flat's pretty cool, although very small and this was most certainly not helped by the fact that everyone in the world (literally) was in there when we arrived. All of us hit town, bought lots of random crap (Ghostbusters Ecto 1-A matchbox car!!!) and then went on a booze run with the Legend, to stock up for the night ahead. I purchased a large bottle of JD, 12 cans of Victoria Bitter, and 2 large bottles of Asahi, the king of Japanese lagers.

Back to the flat, and the drinking begins! This is where things start to become just a little hazy.. I got changed (reet smart!) to go out, as per the advice of Ray, when Waller suddenly announces that we're going to the Student Union club, and so no formal dress is required. How super! I pulled my disgracefully scruffy jeans and all-stars back on, but kept the delightful Shoprite standard issue white shirt and circa 1970s black with orange flowers print tie (dad's), and knocked back a large quantity of VBs, which went down extremely nicely indeed.. all of a sudden, 6 taxis have arrived and it's time to go out (9pm to be precise)... actually it might have been 10... not too sure...

Right the way I figure this, the best way to describe the night from this point onwards is in a series of bullet points, because that's the way that I remember it...

1. Attempt to have an indepth conversation with bemused asian taxi driver as to how good Ash are.

2. Yell at Waller for ticket to get into club. Present doorman with expired Huddersfield University NUS, and allowed in no problem whatsoever.

3. Downstairs. Too busy. Back up!

4. 'A pint of Buck's Fizz, please.... oh yes, and one of those vodka jellies'

5. Sitting down in some kind of area, with everyone else.... off to the bar again!

Fast forward....

6. Meet Martyn at bar in 80s room. Duran Duran is playing, so we decide to drink some funny drinks together - Red hot Stoli Love... except the bar is a bit crap, so we scream at the bar staff until they make something with red aftershock, vodka and lemonade.

7. After about 6 or 7, decide that the bar is shoddy workmanship, and with Martyn, decide to try and break it... almost get away with it.

8. Yelling at the DJ, trying to say 'Huey Lewis and The News' whilst astoundingly pissed.

9. GHOSTBUSTERS! GHOSTBUSTERS!

10. Decide it is a good idea to get a taxi back to Ray and Brendan's place... on my own.

11. Try to tell the taxi driver to go somewhere I've only ever been once before, and have no idea what it's called...

12. Discover that no-one else is in, and it's about -10*c. Brrrrrrr.

13. Attempt to ask the neighbours to let me wait in their flat. Understandably, when confronted with a gibbering drunken fool, they ignore me.

14. Try to smash down brendan's door. Fail miserably. It works in films! Pick up rock and get ready to smash the glass to get in... then a taxi pulls up... it's johnny! Thank the lord!

15. Sunday morning..... still drunk at 12pm.

That was the evening summarised rather well, I feel. You can just about fill in the blanks if you try hard enough. The rest of the weekend was pretty much a write off, due to alcohol poisoning, but that's to be expected. All in all, a bladdy superb weekend, and many, many thanks to everyone involved.

Sweet god in heaven, I've once again left it a stupid amount of time before updating again, if you ever see me, just hit me in the face until I cry, and that will make sure that I never forget again. Bon!

Lots more exciting things have happened in the meantime, not least of which includes Barnacle winning a car! Mmm, but more on that later. I had my 20th birthday, which came and went so quickly I hardly noticed it, although I did get a lovely 4-track recording device, which I have cunningly used to record some songs involving guitar, bass, drums and vocals, and then mastered down to add some other bits and bobs. It's really very lo-fi, but I enjoy the simple life, none of this computer magikery apart from the old drum machine of course! I got a job as well! Finally! I'm working as a Trust Service Administrator at Merrill Lynch, which is essentially a big huge massive worldwide bank, and I'm in charge of sending out bits of money to all the toffs who bank with the company. It's ok, obviously not my career choice (not really compatible with a BA Multimedia Degree) but the pay is good, and it's only for 9 months odd anyway, try and get some cash together for Uni in September.... cool!

The story with Barnacle goes, although I'm sure you've heard, we were in the casino, he put money in and...

He's just a shit, isn't he? Incidentally he's selling it, so if you fancy it, email samuelljackson@hotmail.com and he might respond to you. Maybe. See you farts later anyway.

Hello once more! Please excuse me for not posting during the last few weeks, I've been rather busy doing the usual things associated with the festive season, and doing them all in excessive amounts. Especially drinking. Ugh. Well Christmas went well, I got a few lovely presents, including a hard case for my epiphone explorer (finally!), a new coat from Burton (very nice, but inside it says in big letters 'DIRTY ROGUE'... if anyone can explain this I'd be most grateful), Ricky Gervais Live Animals DVD (extremely funny, but don't watch it with your folks... it's a bit rude!), and the usual excellent assortment of gift vouchers and money. The gift vouchers were all HMV, so I went down after boxing day and bought a load of dvds in the sale... I'll list them, why not....

Chopper, An Eddie Murphy Boxset (Trading Places and Coming To America), Leon, Michael Jackson : HIStory on Film (Parts I and II), Natural Born Killers and Saving Private Ryan. I also got the new Red Hot Chili Peppers 'Best Of', with a fantastic bonus dvd full of videos and other good stuff, and the Junior Senior album, which I haven't actually listened to yet... too busy, haha! I actually got myself loads of dvds before Christmas for some reason, which are.... Batman The Movie (Original 1966 Adam West campfest!), Fargo, The Complete Father Ted (4 Discs), and Once Upon A Time In America. Bon! Oh, and I got Broken Sword for my GBA in Tesco yesterday for £9.98, which I thought was a bit of a bargain.

Christmas Eve was good, although Barnacle Brendan almost ruined christmas! Andrew and I watched the greatest christmas movie ever, Scrooged, and then went round to the Woody for the traditional festive pints later on in the evening. Barnacle was supposed to be joining us, but I couldn't get a answer on his mobile, and his home phone was constantly engaged. It was most infuriating, so eventually we just wrote it off, and all was quiet until who should appear behind us, but Barnacle himself! It turned out that through a ridiculous series of coincedences, he had fallen asleep on his bed, having forgotten to turn his mobile off silent after work, and then his home phone hadn't been put back on the base unit properly, so of course it was constantly reading as engaged! He could only stay for a pint, however, and then he had to be off to see his other friends. He was then involved in a coastguard rescue, but I'll let him tell you that one.... haha, he'll love that, just ask him!

New Years Eve at the Riverside..... well I'm told it was very good... No seriously it was quite a good night, although it was a massive dissapointment when it transpired that Welm weren't going to be playing after all, due to 'internal disputes'... or something. The other bands were good, I didn't get to see much of Sunday as I was too busy in the bar area chatting to various people that I hadn't seen for a while, but Slimpig were of course good... it was all let down by the sound though, which to be honest was just toss... the room was far too echoey (?), and the drums apparently only had a single mic, hanging over the top... bit of a letdown, but the main thing was seeing everybody, and that was good-o! Al very kindly picked us up at 4am in the morning, and I was so incredibly drunk I didn't get up till 4.30 the next afternoon, which went down well with the parents, and disrupted my sleeping patterns till just last night. Happy New Year!

It was the big meal last night, 24 of us all trooped down to Colours on the seafront for the annual piss-up and eating thing.... except that I wasn't drinking, I was DES last night. Feeling much better for it this morning as well! It was good, except the service was a bit toss (Safe had to hassle the staff to get his meal) and the General was fretting as ever over the trivial things, but it was okay in the end, and there was no hassle with the bill as in previous years... mentioning no names... I went on to the Outback with Safe, Claire, Serena and Christine, but it was far too busy in there, so I went along to the office with Bob, Katie, Louisa, Al, Vince, Amy, Dunner, Graeme, Dan and Laura which was much more civilised, and far more to my tastes, you could have a decent conversation for starters! We then went along to the now-obligatory Venue, but I only stayed for about 45 minutes as it was rather depressing when I was the only sober one, you know what it's like. A good night, and weren't all the ladies looking fabulous? Rather! I'll drink next time though, don't want to be a party pooper all the time.

It's my birthday tomorrow! 20 at last...

I've made a nice MP3 for you to listen to, inspired by our friend from the Manxnet forums, 'Geetar Hater'. Enjoy!

Download 'Geetar Hater' Here!

Just in case my incoherent mumblings baffle you, here are the lyrics (as requested by Sirdick):

Geetar Hater
Such an aggravator
Geetar Hater
Dinosaur pre-dater

You came along
So I wrote this song
It’s not that long
So don’t get me wrong
You changed your name
So I’m sure we’ll see you later

Geetar Hater
Feeling much irater
Geetar Hater
Giver not a taker

And so Christmas draws ever closer, with darker nights, frostier winds, and an altogether depressing sensation that christmas just isn't what it used to be. Not a very uplifting observation, but you must admit, ten years ago I would have been bouncing off the walls at this point in December, and now I'm really quite passive about the whole thing. Haha! Not to worry, I'm sure that things will perk up as the time grows nearer. I'm really looking forward to all the Uni boys coming back, especially Brendan and Ray from Sheffield. I believe that Ray is back on the 7pm Lady of Mann boat on Thursday night, and Mr. Murphy is back on the same boat on Saturday, disappointingly arriving too late for a hardcore drinking session! Ray tells me he's only over for the one weekend, and then he's jetting off to Japan with his parents in order to spend Christmas with his sister, who's teaching out there. Suppose we'd better make the most of this weekend then eh, drink the pubs dry!

The builders are in next door, and they are without a doubt the noisiest bunch of bastards I've ever heard in my life. They arrive at 8.30am, and then its BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG on the wall till 5pm, interspersed with Energy FM played at full volume about an inch from my living room window. Grrrr. I don't have a clue what they're doing, I just hope they're finished for Christmas. Cowboys!

Went down to Hev's birthday at the Trafalgar on Friday night, and what a brilliant night it was. A good time had by all, and a monstrous hangover which lasted until 6 o'clock on Saturday evening. I eventually fell asleep watching Only Fools and Horses, which was a thankfully dignified end to a bizarre day. Hats off to the chaps from Circus World and.... errr.... oh god.... the other incarnation of Circus World, can't remember the name for the life of me :(. Hev played a set at the end which was of course excellent as per usual, and I ended up leaving at about 3am with Steve in a taxi. Frnkkkkk... never again.... until next week!

Ho Ho Ho! The festive season approaches at a rapid pace! And the usual stuff seems to be happening in the usual order, so that's not really much to remark on. The decorations went up in the house last sunday, along with the inevitable factor involved. Very stressful, my dad and I had to escape to B&Q for a bit to get away from the nagging. Ah well! All sorted in the end, in fact I got some lights for my room from Woolies so it looks all festive and nice. To be honest as they're just white lights, I think I'll leave em up all year round, as an 'interesting feature'.

Ugh. Came over all Linda Barker there. So what else is going on in Crackland? I'm off to see the doctor this week, well on Thursday to be precise, and I'm hoping he's going to give me the all clear. If he does, that means I can drive again :). Goodness me, I've missed DRIVING AT A SENSIBLE PACE in the beemer, haha even if other drivers do get enraged at someone so young driving a bmw. Just jealous, I'm sure! The Uni folks are trickling back from next thursday, and then it will become a steady, smelly stream until they're all back. Come back! It's boring here!

The new band's going well, I've got a few songs written and pretty much ready for playing, and we've got a repetoire of decent covers. I'm going to do a website for the band, which is now named ERIC P.I., but I've honestly no idea when that'll be up, as I'm lazy.

MY SODDING T-SHIRTS AREN'T HERE! I'M GOING SPARE! HELP ME!

New! Download Your Very Own Bin Card!

Alright? How's things with you lot? I'm just watching this mad programme at the minute on C4, which says that some silly americans watched The Matrix and then went a bit loopy and killed some unfortunate people. Now I remember when I went to see the Matrix at the cinema, and afterwards Alan and I were busy leaping over benches and trying to kick each other's faces off, but I was never compelled to shoot up some people. Ah well, America.

I've just got back from the first practice of this new band, and I'm glad to say it went rather well! The lineup at the minute is myself, Alan, Flood and Mark, and while today wasn't really a practice per se, as we don't really know any songs, but we jammed a few and we've got a list for next week. So keep an eye out, we'll be about sooner than you know! It felt excellent to play with a band again, I haven't done it since Chasfest 2002, which is a hell of a long time. We were jamming some Pearl Jam, Foo Fighters, Deep Purple, Steve Miller Band and of course Nirvana, although not the blindingly obvious ones, had a nice little jam of the old Welm standby 'Hey Joe' as well. All good fun!

"I own not one, but two pairs of pantaloons!"

Not many plans for the weekend, as it stands. I think Al's coming down on Friday night to get a bit drunk and play Mario Kart, and listen to Outkast. That song, eh? Brilliant stuff. Well, it's late, and I'm tired, bed calls. Bye now!

Righto, I suppose I'd better do a bit of an update, what good webmaster leaves his site untended for 8 whole days? Me, that's who? Haha! What have I been up to recently? Not much really. I went to the Trafalgar pub on Friday night just gone for the acoustic birthday night... which was really rather excellent.

Your webmaster enjoys himself thoroughly

Yes, it was an excellent night, and a big well done to all concerned, both in the organisation and performing at said event. The standout of the evening for me was Heather Watson, who I've never seen before, and I was amazed by her performance. It was truly refreshing and mesmerising, and I reccommend everyone to listen to her as soon as they can. Who else was good? Everyone, I suppose, but I also especially liked Paul Salisbury, Christy D and of course... Flood! Speaking of which, I'm in a new band-type-thing, and we're having our first practice together this week. I'm awfully excited! We'll be playing originals of course, but the covers are going to have a more classic rock vibe about them, you'll have to just wait and see really! It's been 15 months since I last played with a band (Lethargy at Chasfest 2002, trivia fans!) and I'm really looking forward to doing it again, especially with the people concerned.

Yes, the leg's a bit better! They took the cast off last Thursday and fitted me with a removable cast, which can be used for walking on, and can be taken off for showers and stuff. It's really rather good, I have to say, and things are much easier now that I can put my leg down when I'm walking. Mr. Green, the surgeon who is keeping an eye on proceedings, suggests that I'lll be all clear by Christmas, which is unexpected and rather splendid, so here's hoping. Until then however, I'm not really able to get a job, so I've gone down a well-trodden path - I'm on the dole! Haha, that's right, I'm now receiving money every week from the DHSS which is very nice of them, but really I'd much rather be working and earning a full wage. Hey ho!

I got Mario Kart! There's a review of it on.... well, the review page. Obviously! (Must be said in a Ricky-Gervais-from-Bo-Selecta-Style). I'm going to see Kill Bill tomorrow, finally, so I might just post a little review of that as well. There's a new mini-rant, but I'm really not that angry about anything at the minute, so it's just a list of stuff that annoys me. Bye!